Alone I sit by my window. I watch the world now with little participation. Befuddled in my thoughts at times, I smile to myself at some distant memory. Cradled in my heart is my life’s story.
Damn, why did I waste so much time being foolish? Envy took up a good part of it. Foolish choices made on the spur of a moment can turn out to cost you more than money. Gratitude was short lived as I climbed the mountain to success. Humility was just a word on a sign posted on an old wooden board along the way. I paid little attention to it. Independence was my goal; I would never ask for help. How foolish….
Junctions in my life were ignored as my ego grew. Knowledge was what I craved; I knew it all, or so I thought. Love came and I let it go; it required too much of me and would take me off my path. Money was my goal, lots of money would give me freedom from the poverty that dwelled in my heart and soul. Narcissism played the music I danced to.
Often I would close myself up to kindness and humility as I had people to use and places to conquer. Passing through the doorways of life I never stopped to smell the flowers or feel the sunshine on my shoulders.
Quietly and swiftly time marched on, and so did I. Roads lay before me: the choice was mine to pick and boldly I traveled the road to success, or so I thought. Success came and plenty of money lined my pockets; I could have the freedom I craved, I was happy, or was I?
Time passes faster as we age; it stops for no one – I realized that one day when I looked in the mirror. Up, on top of the mountain finally, but as I looked around I was all alone. Virtual silence filled my world, no one to share my success with, no one to love, no children, only material success.
What have I done and why didn’t I stop to read the signs along the way about love, laughter, help, humility, caring, sharing, and the many more were ignored. Exit is now the only sign I can see – a big sign I cannot ignore and I wonder what’s on the other side of it; I am frightened and alone.
Yesterdays are gone, and although I thought I made all the right turns, there are no more choices.
Zero is what I had coming into this world, zero is what I will leave with….