I’d appreciate some honest comments on the following. If this was a book would you buy it after reading the following. Thanking you all in advance. Patricia

Emoline Bronson looked out the window of the train. It was raining and she was trying to concentrate on the droplets that landed and were slowly making their way down the glass. However only one thought kept running through her mind. To kill or not to kill. All of her logic told her kill. Her heart however told her not to kill. The torment brought tears to her eyes. Could she take the life that was growing inside of her and just discard it without remorse.




When I am gone, will my shadow stay.

Will you see me walking beside your shadow under the moon.


Will the scent from flowers I liked remind you of me.


Will a gentle breeze across your face feel like a kiss from me.

When you hold an item I gave you will it feel like a hug from me.

When holidays come will I be remembered.

When you dream will I be there, and if I am,

is it really a dream, or could I be visiting you.

Speak to me with love in your voice, hug me whenever you can.

Hold me in your heart, forget about your pride

because tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone and regret lasts a lifetime.


The DNA test was done, it would be a few days before the results were in. Sam and Janet went to a small resturant near Janets condo. They talked for a couple of hours. Ben was in Germany. He would explain everything on Tuesday. Sam couldn’t believe she might be having lunch with her mother. Her thoughts were all over the place. The actual case was over, Ben was alive and well. She told Janet she would stop charging her as of this day but she did want to get the test results and speak with Ben when he returned. Janet agreed and she would call Sam when Ben was safely home and after she had a chance to speak with him herself. Sam agreed and would wait for her call.

Ben and Peter landed in Newark International there was a helicopter waiting for them for the short flight to NOC headquarters in Stuartsville, N.J. for debriefing, and where they would be able to clean up and get a clean change of clothing. They would both be home by Tuesday. The three NOC agents that helped them stayed in Germany. They had other assingments. Ben and Peter thanked them, they all shook hands and went their separate ways.

Samanthas friend from the lab called her Monday and told her the test was positive 99.9% . Janet was her mother. The results were faxed to her office but she was going to wait until Tuesday to tell Janet. She met Ben and Janet the following evening at the condo. They talked for hours. Ben explained that he was retiring from the NOC. He also explained why he didn’t know about Sams parents. He didn’t read it in the newspaper as he was out of town at the time. He was happy that Janet and Sam found each other. Ben wanted them to be a family. Janet was crying tears of joy, she found her baby girl, Sam found her mother and now she had the family she always dreamed of.

Wensday Sam got to her office at 8:30am., as usual and there lay Connie dead on the office floor.

The End.


The ringing of Sams telephone woke her up. She looked at the clock on the nightstand it was 7:00am., Mike opened his eyes as she started to sit up to answer the call. “Let it ring, they’ll call back later”.

I have to answer Mike it might be a client”. He kissed her gently on the shoulder.

OK I can wait”.

Mmmmmm, I know you can”, she said with a smile.

Hello, this is Sam Cole”.

Sam, it’s me Janet. I am sorry for calling so early but I just got a call from Ben. He’s fine. He’s in Germany and will be home Tuesday morning. I asked him why he didn’t call me, he said he will explain it all on Tuesday. He’s fine Sam she said again”. Sam could tell she was crying but they were tears of joy.

That’s all he said”?

Yes, he told me he had to hang up because he had to catch a flight but he’s fine! Isn’t it great news”!

Yes, of course it’s great news but I still want you to meet me today at my office and we can discuss this again when I see you”.

Yes, yes of course. Oh, I’m so relieved Sam. I will meet you at eleven”.

I want you to calm down Janet and drive carefully, understand”?

Yes, I will, see you later, bye”. Sam hung up her phone and sat down on the edge of the bed.

Are you alright Sam”? Mike asked.

Yes, I’m fine. That was my client. Seems she got a call from her husband and he’s fine. I meeting her at my office at eleven o’clock today”.

Eleven, good that means you have a few more hours”, he put his arms around her and kissed the nape of her neck. They laid down together and made love again. Afterward Sam was quiet. Mike sensed that something was bothering her. “What’s the matter Sam”?


Are you sure? You seem like you’re a million miles away”.

I can’t talk about it right now Mike but it has nothing to do with you. You are quite a wonderful man and I am afraid I have deeper feelings for you than I allow myself to have and it scares me”. Holding her close and kissing her gently on the cheek.

Don’t be afraid Samantha my intentions are honorable, I would never hurt you. I know you’ll think this crazy but I have loved you for a long time. You are the girl of my dreams and you fill my heart with joy. I know you’ve been hurt in the past and I know this is a lot for you to process but I can wait as long as we have a chance or I should say, I have a chance I am willing to wait”. Sam snuggled closer to Mike. “You have a chance Mike, a good chance. Right now I hate to leave but I have an appointment with my client at eleven o’clock and I have to get ready to leave. Why don’t you go take a shower and I’ll make coffee and after you leave I’ll take my shower and dress”. Mike kissed her again, she gently pushed him away, giggled. Uh, uh.”. Mike smiled and headed toward the shower. Sam put her robe on and headed to the kitchen. Fed Bonkers and started the coffee. She looked at the clock it was 8:45am.. When the coffee was ready she heard Mike coming down the stairs and put two cups on the kitchen table. “Smells good”, she heard him say as he reached the kitchen. “Hi beautiful”.

Yeah right, beautiful. Hair in a pony tail, no makeup dressed in an old bathrobe and no shower yet, I don’t think beautiful is the word your looking for”.

It is to me, do you realize how gorgeous you look”? Sam blushed.

No”. He walked over to her and put his arms around her and drew her close to him. She could feel her heart beating faster. Mike put his finger under her chin lifted her face up and made her look him in the eyes. “You are the girl of my dreams and I don’t want you to ever forget that”. She smiled and gave him a quick kiss. “Coffee’s ready and I really have to get moving”.

Can I see you later, like maybe dinner”?

I don’t know. It depends on what happens today. I’ll call you later alright”? Mike drank his coffee and headed out the door. “I’ll be waiting”. Wow Sam thought, what the hell just happened with me? I need time to sort this out and she headed up stairs to take a shower and get dressed. She was humming.

Sam got to the office at 10:30am., she wanted to copy all the documents before Janet arrived. At eleven Janet walked through the door looking beautiful and with a big smile on her face. “Oh Sam I am so happy. Ben is fine and coming home. I can’t wait until Tuesday”.

Janet we need to talk. I want to know what is going on. I have many questions about the legal papers and in about a half hour I have a friend that works at a lab that specializes in DNA. She is doing us a favor and coming here today to take a swab for the test”

OK, Sam that’s fine but I know you are my daughter, I can feel it in my gut”.

Do you know who the father is”?

Truthfully I don’t know his name, I sort of remember what he looked like but it was so long ago and my mother died a few years ago, at least that’s what I heard. If the test comes back positive can you research it and maybe get his name”?

I don’t think so. We’ll just wait for the results and go from there alright”?

I would like to get to know you Samantha and maybe we can become a family or at least friends, would that be alright with you”?

Let’s just take it one step at a time”. In the meantime here are all the papers and documents. You can put them back in the safe deposit box on Monday and Sam will never know”.

I want him to know, I not putting them back. Ben and I have a lot to discuss and if you are my daughter I want to know if he knew about the accident and you having to live in the system for so many years. I want you to be there too Sam. That is if you want to”.

Yes, I would as a matter of fact, thanks. I have many questions myself for both you and him, if the test is positive”.

Sam can I take you out to lunch today and maybe we can talk. I’d like to know the story of you. Even if the test isn’t positive I’d like to be your friend. Could you be a friend to me Sam”? Sam smiled and said; “Lets go have some lunch”. Janet hugged her and they headed out the door.


Driving home Sam’s thoughts were all over the place. She was trying to calm down but couldn’t help thinking that Janet was her mother. How freaky is this she thought. I stumble on to the most difficult case I ever had and just when I think I will get a lead I find out that my client is my mother. I have to just take it one step at a time. I have been disappointed before and even though this information is spot on, it can still be a dead end. Then there was Ben, working for the government. Sam was sure about that but it made everything more difficult. She pulled into her driveway and went into the house.

It was four o’clock Mike would pick her up at eight. She thought about calling him and canceling but Sam really liked him and didn’t want to ruin a good thing. She had liked Mike for a long time but after her last relationship and her problem with trusting people she thought being friends was better, now Mike let her know he was crazy about her but should she give in to her feelings or just keep it light. “A hot shower and a nap is what I need right now”, she said out loud looking at Bonkers, he meowed and she laughed, gave him fresh water some food and headed to her bedroom. She called Connie and told her to close up and go home and she would see her on Monday morning. “OK boss, is your date still on for tonight”?

“Yes Connie it’s still on”.

“That’s great, have a wonderful time and try to relax”.

“Good bye Connie, I’ll see you Monday”.

“Bye”, and the line went dead. Sam headed to the shower. She awoke at close to six thirty feeling refreshed. Then the thoughts came tumbling back. She tried to push them down she wanted to have a good time, she deserved it and needed to feel good again. Mike arrived at exactly eight o’clock. They headed off to Manhattan and wound up at Le Cirque restaurant on East 58th St. “Pretty fancy Mike, now I know why you asked me not to wear jeans”, she said smiling.

“I didn’t want anyone to think I was dating a gun toting mama”, he smiled back.

“Oh, I’m toting Mike but discreetly”.

“I know Sam, I know. So am I”. The restaurant was one of the finest in Manhattan and Sam loved Italian food. They were seated and ordered wine. The view of the city was amazing from so high up. Sam kept the conversation light but Janet was still on her mind. Mike was beaming from ear to ear. “What are you so happy about”?

“Do you know how beautiful you are”, he asked.

“That’s a pretty old line, don’t you think Mike”?

“No, I really mean it Sam, you look gorgeous tonight”.

“Why thank you kind sir”.

“Sam you know I am crazy about you, I want to be more than just a buddy and you know that. Why are you holding back”?

“It’s a long story Mike but I do care about you”.

“I’m not going to hurt you or disappoint you Sam. I will always be totally honest with you”. I don’t want to be your buddy, I want to be the love of your life because that’s what you are to me, you are the love of my life”. Sam was touched by Mikes words and took a sip of her wine to push back the lump in her throat. He reached across the table and took her hand in his and gently kissed it. He was so sincere it stirred emotions in Sam that she hadn’t felt for a long time. She knew right then and there that Mike could be the one to make her happy. They ordered dinner and finished off the wine. It was the first time in a long time that Sam felt loved. After dinner Mike took her for a ride in one of the horse drawn carriages through Central Park. They both talked about their childhood. Mike grew up in Maspeth, Queens, his parents still lived in the same house. His two younger sisters both were married and he was an uncle. He loved kids and wanted a family. He wanted Sam to meet his family, he poured his heart out that night and Sam loved it. They kissed and Sam was ready to break the friendship and move to the next level. She wanted a good, kind, gentle man and Mike was exactly that. It was late when they arrived at her house. She invited him in for coffee. He stayed the night.


Although Sam most likely looking at her mother she was ill at ease. Janet was crying and saying she couldn’t believe all of it. “I know everything in this document matches my birth and parents Janet but we have to be absolutely sure”.

We can always ask your parents. Surely they will know”.

My parents were killed in an auto accident when I was about ten months old. I spent my childhood in the system. Did you know about that Janet, did Ben know and didn’t tell you. There are many questions to be answered. Did you know”?

No! If I had known I would have come and got you. I don’t think Ben knew either. Was it on the news or in the newspaper”?

It wasn’t a headline story but it was in the newspaper, I don’t know if it was on television, I was only an infant” Janet got up and went over to Sam she hugged her.

I am so sorry. I thought you were going to have a good life with parents that loved you and would care for you. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, and to find out now that you had such a terrible childhood. I am sorry Sam, I am so sorry. I can tell you this now that we know, when I first met you, you did remind me of my mother but it didn’t dawn on me. I thought it was just a coincidence”.

I still have to find your husband Janet and knowing that he works for the government is going to make it more difficult. I have a couple of agents I know and I can ask around but this only makes matters more difficult. Let’s just take a deep breath and concentrate on finding Ben. I have an appointment tonight but I will call you tomorrow. I want to make copies of all of the documents and see if I can find that warehouse in one of the names on the passports”. Janet was just sitting there staring at Sam.

I can’t believe this I just can’t”.

Lets not jump the gun here Janet, we will have a DNA test done tomorrow. It will take a couple of weeks but if it comes back that you are my mother then we can talk again about all that. Right now I have to concentrate on finding your husband”.

Do you hate me Sam”?

No, why would I hate you. You were only a kid. I have been looking for my mother for many years and I want to be absolutely sure”.

I understand Sam, please don’t hate me, please”.

I don’t Janet, I have to go and I am going to take all of this with me and make copies in the morning at my office. Meet me there at eleven tomorrow morning okay”?

Yes, yes of course Sam, I’ll be there”. She helped same put the information back in the envelopes and Sam left.


My hubby better known to our grandchildren as Grampi picks up our almost 10 year old granddaughter every day after school and brings her to our house. One of her parents picks her up about 5:00pm after work. We have been doing this since she was in Day Care.

Yesterday I had to leave here about 4:30 I had two appointments. I kissed her goodbye and told her I would see her tomorrow. Grampi would be with her until she was picked up. I didn’t get home until after 8:00pm, I was exausted and not in a great mood. I knew I would have many emails to answer and I really didn’t feel like doing it but I made a cup of tea and went into my room and sat down at my desk and taped to my desk was the following note.


Now you know why they are called Grand children. This one little note brought so much joy to my heart and put a smile on my face. Life is great!!!!


Sam drove back to the condo. Janet removed five manilla envelopes from her purse and placed them on the table, and sat down. She was clearly upset. “I’m going to make coffee before we open those envelopes. Would you like a cup? Sam nodded yes. “I feel like I am betraying Ben. He will be so upset when he comes home”.

I am sure he will understand Janet. You are his wife and you have a right to know his whereabouts. This might save his life”.

I know but it’s almost like admitting he’s gone”.

It also might help me find him”. Janet poured the coffee and gave Sam a cup. She took one of the envelopes and opened it. There were several passports all with different names in them but all contained Ben’s photo. She showed them to Sam. “What does this mean”? She asked Sam.

It means you were right, Ben does work for the government, in what capacity remains to be seen”. Janet opened another one. It was Janets and Bens marriage license, and a birth certificate for Janets baby with her name and the baby’s name as Maria Martinez. Father unknown. A copy of another birth certificate with the name Olivia Cole mother and David Cole Father child Samantha Cole. Janet started to shake and cry. “What is it”? Sam asked. She handed the document to Sam without saying a word.

The two men from the NOC that had left the coffee shop were waiting just inside the doors of the Lufthansa terminal when the cars pulled up. One man started walking toward the gate for Bens and Peters flight, the other stayed close to the doors. Ben and Sami got out of the car and walked over to the car in front of them to get Peter. The back door opened and Peter got out and so did Jahmir. Ben asked Sami what was going on. They were suppose to wait in their car until Sami came back with the combination for both suitcases, after him and Peter were safely on the flight. Jahmir told Sami he was going with them and would wait just outside customs. Sami and Jahmir went back and forth almost getting into an argument but Jahmir finally got back in the car and the three men headed toward the airline doors. Once inside they headed to the customs area showed their tickets and passports and passed through with no issues. Then the man who was standing by the doors walked up to Sami handed him a passport and a ticket and both men passed through customs with Ben and Peter. Ben was about to say something but Peter looked at him and shook his head no. Ben and Peter started walking toward the gate their flight was ready for boarding.

Jahmir told Kasim he thought it was taking too long and he was going into the terminal. Kasim said to him it might be a trap and told Malid to go look in Sami’s car and see if he left the key in the ignition. Malid got out and walked over to Sami’s car and saw the key and returned. Jahmir told Kasim to look in the trunk of Sami’s car and see if the other suitcase was there. Kasim took the key from the ignition and checked the trunk, the suitcase was there. He told Jahmir and was told to get back in the car and follow them. Kasim asked how were they suppose to open the suitcases without the combinations. Jahmir told him they would drive to the camp and blow the locks off. Kasim got into Sami’s car and both cars drove out of the airport. Jahmir laughed and told Malid now they had another car to use as well as the money, they both laughed.

Ben, Peter, Sami and the two NOC agents all boarded the plane without issue. Once in the air Sami introduced himself to Ben and Peter. His name was Gary Samuels the other two men were Ron Hall and Joe Black all were NOC agents. Ben and Peter thanked them and ordered a round of drinks. “It was worth the money”, he said. Joe Black replied; “The money was counterfeit and both suitcases have C4 inside the linings. “Those ass holes probably found the other suitcase and took off and will blow the locks and themselves along with it. Ben smiled and the men toasted a job well done. They were on their way home. Once they landed in Germany Ben would call Janet and tell her he was fine and would be home in a day or two. When he got home he would tell her he was retiring from the NOC as was Peter.

Joe was right the three men drove into camp carrying the two suitcases with shouts of joy and laughter. They took the suitcases into the main tent and Jahmir wanted to take the first shot and he did.

Janet and Sam looked over all the other documents. The one that interested Sam was the one from Bens attorney stating the legal adoption of Janets baby girl to the Coles. Now it was Sams turn to start crying. Everything matched her birth, the date, the hospital her parents names there were even photos of the Coles with Samantha. Janet was crying Sam was crying they couldn’t believe what she was seeing. If the documents were legitimate then Janet was her mother. Sam wanted a DNA test done and so did Janet.


Ben and Sami waited. It was seven am.. The traffic outside was starting to pick up. Ben watched as a car pulled up in front of the maqhaa (coffee shop). They watched as two men got out of the car. One of them opened the back door and Ben could see Peter. He looked tired and had a bruise on his face, his clothing was a bit disheveled. The two men were dressed in jeans and tee shirts and had sport jackets on. Ben could see the bulge of the jackets where their guns were. Another man stayed in the car and Ben could see the barrel of a rifle leaning against the front seat. Sami stood up and in Arabic greeted them as if he knew them in a friendly way and invited them to join him for coffee. There were a few other men in the shop two of whom Ben knew but Sami was not aware of. They were both fluent in Arabic and the local dialect of Karbala. The two men and Peter sat down and more coffee was brought to the table. Sami introduced Ben to the two men as Kasim and Jahmir. Peter smiled and shook hands with Ben and said; “Man, am I glad to see you”. He also noticed the two men from the NOC but said nothing. He suddenly felt safe and smiled at Ben. The two men saw the suit case under the table between Ben and Sami. They exchanged words with Sami and he explained to them that they cold take the suit case with them in their car. He and Ben would follow them to the airport they would all go inside and when Peter and Ben were boarding their flight to Germany Sami would give them the other suit case and the combination for both locks. One of the men said something to Sami, he told Ben that Peter would have to ride in the car with them. Sami would follow behind them. Ben told Sami to tell them he wanted Peter’s passport and wallet now. One of the men took an envelope out of his inside jacket pocket and placed it on the table. Ben opened it took out the passport and checked it to make sure it was in order, it was. He also checked Peters wallet and his drivers license and credit card were in it. He put both items in his jacket pocket. He then lifted the case onto his lap punched in a few numbers and put the case on the table and opened the top enough for the men to see the money. He then closed and locked the case. The two men from the other table that were NOC agents got up and left. They got in their car and drove off. They would be at the airport when Ben and Peter arrived. Ben, Sami, Peter and the two men stood up from the table and left the coffee shop.

Peter got in the back with Jahmir and the suitcase, Kasim got in the front seat with the driver Malid. They spoke in Arabic about how easy it was to get money from the Americans and how this money would help their cause. Peter sat quietly but understood every word they said. If he got back to the U.S. he would be debriefed as would Ben.

Ben had two first class tickets for his and Peter’s flight to Germany, a two hour layover and then their flight to JFK International. If all went well.

Sam and Janet arrived at the bank and went directly to the safe deposit box area. Janet gave her name to the clerk and he handed her a card to fill out. Ben had included her name on the original form and she had signed it. She filled out the form entered the code number and handed it back to the clerk. Janet and Sam followed him. He unlocked a metal gate and went to the box number registered. He asked for Janets key slipped it in the lock and then took his key and opened the door to reveal the box. He removed his key, took the large box out. “Would you like me to carry it to one of the rooms for you, it’s quite heavy”.

Yes, thank you”. He handed her key back and told her to follow him. She opened the door to one of the small private rooms used by depositors. The clerk placed the box on the table and left. Sam locked the door and Janet opened the box. Inside was cash and plenty of it. There was also several envelopes filled with documents. Sam told Janet to take the envelopes out but leave the cash alone. Janet put all the envelopes in her purse closed the box and told the clerk she was finished. He put the box back and locked the box door. Janet thanked him and she and Sam left.


Sam stopped at the office before heading over to Janet’s house. Connie filled her in on phone calls and up coming cases and that Mike had left a message for her to call him. Sam finished her coffee and left.

Aren’t you going to call Mike”? Connie said as Sam was leaving. She didn’t answer as the office door closed.

Sam arrived at Janets, she had coffee ready and there were bagels and rolls on the counter in case Sam was hungry. “Just coffee for me thanks, I’d like to get started. I hope you slept well last night, you looked exhausted”.

I am but until I hear from Ben or you find out what happened I’m afraid I won’t be getting much sleep”.

Why don’t we get started then”.

There’s not much more to tell. Ben and I married after I finished high school. I attended college for a year but dropped out for lack of interest. I had everything I ever dreamed of except children. Ben was always busy and I kept myself busy with charities, friends and shopping. I loved to cook and when Ben was home early enough for dinner it was wonderful.”

Did you socialize with other couples, either here or go out to dinner, plays, movies”?

Not that often. There was a couple we went out to dinner once in a while. Paul and his wife Mary I think her name was or maybe it was Marie”.

What was their last name”?

Ward, yes it was Paul and Mary Ward. Mary not Marie. She was a lovely woman and he was very nice too”.

How often did you socialize with them”?

Not very often maybe ten times or so over the past fifteen years. I tried to get close to Mary but she was always busy so I stopped trying”.

Do you know what Paul did for a living”?

Ben told me he was an associate of his”.

Do you know if his wife worked”?

No, I don’t think she did but I could be mistaken”.

Janet do you know how to shoot a gun”?

Yes, Ben taught me and I am a pretty good shot if I do say so myself”.

Where does Ben keep his gun”?

You mean guns he has several. They are in one of the wall safes in our bedroom and a couple in the wall save in the den”.

Can you show me them”?

I would if I could but I don’t know the combination for the locks”.

How does Ben expect you to protect yourself when he’s not around and you can’t get at the guns and how do you know he took a gun with him when he left”.

I have a 357 in my nightstand and I saw the gun he was carrying the day he left for the meeting”.

Are you still getting his voice mail when you call his cell”?


Does he have a personal phone book with names of friends, family or associates”?

No, not that I know of, unless it’s at the warehouse”.

What about family”?

None that I know of. His parents have passed and he was an only child”.

What were their names”?

Gerald and Victoria Hewitt, why”?

Did you ever meet them”?

Yes, once. They looked old even then. I think Ben was born when they were older”.

Where did they live”?

In California”.

You’re not giving me much to go on Janet and time is ticking away here. Do you want to go to JFK and get the car out of long term parking”?

No!! Ben put it there for a reason and I don’t want him to come home and his car is gone”.

Janet, Ben might not be coming home. You do realize that don’t you”?

Don’t say that”! Janet said with tears welling up in her eyes. “You have to find him”!

Alright, calm down. This is what we are going to do and I need you to cooperate with me, understand”?

Yes, yes. What do you have in mind”?

Do you have that key that Ben gave you”?


Go get it. You and I are going to the bank and open that safe deposit box”.

But, but, Ben said”…..

I don’t care what Ben said, he’s missing and I have no leads on him. Now do you want to help me find him or at least get some answers of his whereabouts or not”.

Janet was visibly shaken. She took a deep breath and went to her bedroom and came back with the key and a piece of paper with a number written on it. “I have to write this code number on the signature card for the box”.

OK, lets do this and hopefully get some answers on your husbands whereabouts. Get your coat and purse and lets go”.

Fifteen minutes later they were on their way to the bank.